I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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