Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
