....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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