Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
this hospital has no fireball
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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