I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
