He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
