you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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