Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize