Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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