just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
