In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
