Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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