Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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