I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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