So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
