The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please come you make the beer taste better
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
