Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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