Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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