I'm really into asian looking animals
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
