so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize