yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize