I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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