There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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