we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
