If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
