I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize