i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize