I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
