Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
