i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
