Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
