we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
