is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
