I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize