I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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