Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
