Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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