I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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