Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
