And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
