We named our party play list daddy issues
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
