absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
