i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm just crazy horny about you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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