I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
