If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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