its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
