I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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