if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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