Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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