Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you didnt know i had herpes?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He? As in you personified your dick?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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