3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
