She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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