i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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