I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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