I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
