So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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